Braindead

You know that people think you're competent when you have to write and file two motions in less than 12 hours. Not little nitpicky motions. Motions to dismiss. Two. Kill me now.

Obnoxious Fact of the Day!

Westlaw has zero idea what the difference between civil and criminal cases are. Case in point: I tried to limit my search to criminal cases, it popped up a result featuring family law, and a libel claim by a "former prosecuting attorney." No, Westlaw, no! Bad Westlaw! Just because it says prosecuting attorney does NOT mean that the case is actually criminal.

The Future...

Is here. And it's super weird.

Have you ever wanted all the discomfort of glasses, with NONE of the benefits? Have you ever wanted a tiny clear-ish screen to mildly obstruct your vision at all times? Have you ever wanted to both stare straight ahead and be utterly distracted at the same time?

You HAVE?!?! Then, have I got news for you: Google Glass is here!

Watch the video. It's strange. I don't know how to feel about it. I feel empty inside about it. That's a good sign, right?

Fun Facts

1. Meeting with people in custody is just as unnerving as you might think, despite many of them being perfectly nice.
2. When you meet with an in custody client, you get locked in the room with them.
3. Greasy hair looks good on no one. Same goes for gel that makes your hair look greasy.
4. Driving to long distance interviews is more nerve wracking than regular interview techniques.
5. Most dry cleaners don't do a 1 day turn around.
6. Most dry cleaners are not open after 7:45 PM. 
7. I think eating tortilla chips with various dips as dinner makes you officially not an adult (see: myself).
8. Whoever said that bread is the staff of life lied. I'm pretty sure it's actually a good cup of coffee.
9. For some reason, showering twice a day clears my head.
10. Top Gear is a wonderful, addictive, informative, hilarious, ridiculous show. 
11. Girls, once you enter law school, I have one word of beauty advice for you: anti-aging. 
12. Free sample packs from Sephora are almost as good as having your birthday.
13. I might be the only one who actively uses the term "quarter-life-crisis birthday"
14. Mineral water is the best water of all the water. (Some of you vehemently disagree, and I accept your difference of opinion)
15. Plush, fuzzy blankets are awesome. It's like wrapping yourself in warm, teddy bear carcasses (gruesome, I know. apologies.).
16. Cobalt is in. 
17. So is 1920's fashion.
18. Korean spas: I want to go to there.
19. Spring break was a stroke of brilliance on the part of the entire American collegiate system.
20. Lent. Apparently it's still a thing. You can do something proactive rather than give something up (e.g. start exercising, do one good deed a day, volunteer, etc.). True story. I asked a Catholic.
21. You cannot be both a nail biter and have nail polish last more than two days. 
22. I don't know how to feel about men wearing square toed shoes in a dressy situation. 
23. Rainbow highlighters.
24. Liz Lemon is a goddess. That is to say, Tina Fey is. As is Kristen Wiig. As is Amy Poehler. 
25. Some day, when I'm rich (here is where you all laugh with me), I'm going to buy a single pair of Christian Louboutins. And a Burberry trench and bag. It has to be large enough to hold all of the files I'll likely have to cart back and forth.
26. What would we do without the internets?

Salutations/Karma

I recently was apprised of the fact that my mother now reads this blog (Hi, Mom!), and (thankfully) finds it insightful and funny (of course, she is my mother, after all). In the spirit of that, I'll be trying to keep the profanity to an absolute minimum (sorry, mom!).

On an unrelated note, to prove/support my firm belief that what goes around comes around, I offer you this article about some guy who fought the law and the law won. Proof positive that you can be summa cum laude, a pseudo-ivy leaguer, and it still doesn't make you invincible or a good person. What goes around comes around is never more true than in the legal profession. Let's face it, at some level, everyone knows everyone. Particularly if you're good. You don't get to the top without help, and you don't get help if you're an unforgivable douchebag. Here's the lesson kids: Don't be a jerk.

It's 5'o'clock Somewhere

You guys may have heard/read/seen....whatever applies in this specific situation, since I'm still not sure...me mention that alcoholism is a fairly rampant problem in the legal world. I, personally, am not one of the storied personages who stealthily imbibes by means of sneaking in scotch in a travel coffee mug, but I have heard tell of those that do. (Holy anachronistic lexicon, Batman!) A delightful and lovely and bubbly barista (my favorite one, in fact) revealed that some of the law students get their morning coffee with a not-so-featherlight dose of bourbon - something that definitely would NOT assist my attention span at 8:30 AM and wouldn't help my running abilities at 10:30 AM. In her words, "Y'all are a bunch of alcoholics!" However, even for those who partake of the not so irregular irish coffee, there is a line that can be crossed. I imagine that there is such a line in any enclave of young adults in any city-like environment (or not a citylike environment, for that matter). Granted, it's a relative line, and it is almost certainly not the line that your doctor would recommend, but it exists nonetheless.

The fabulous Ryan O'Connell at Thought Catalog has a wonderfully tongue-in-cheek, pithy take on 15 Signs You Need To Stop Drinking So Much. He says it more eloquently than I could, but seriously kids (and not kids), every now and then do a little self-evaluation, and have close friends keep you in check. I firmly believe that anyone, given the right circumstances, can fall victim to crossing that very thin line between blowing off steam and being profoundly stupid. And I say this as a public defender as well. It can permanently screw up your life.


All that being said, I'm going to go pour myself a glass of wine. What? A glass of red wine lubricates my rods and cones for reading. Also, I was in court all day, in the presence of a judge who was in rare form, and all things going slightly haywire.

For the record, I'm just like any other 20-something. When I get stressed out, I tend to over spend on my drinks and food budget. I guess it could be worse. Now, to read/ amp myself up for a speedy run tomorrow...(as in under 1 hour). I predict that it'll feel something like this:

A Word of Advice

When you leave your charged computer in sleep mode for an entire weekend (read: 4 full days, plus some odd hours), DO NOT retrieve it and expect it to still be fully charged. That would be a completely fallacious assumption. And you know what they say about assuming things.....it makes an ass out of you and me. Now, if only ALL of my classes didn't post readings online/if only my client files for the motions due tomorrow weren't online. Technology! You have betrayed me again!