Monday, March 18, 2013

Here we are again


Sleep deprived. Caffeinated. Just murdered some trees. Now have no money on my print quota. Desperately need a massage. Also desperately need to finish my laundry. Also desperately need to run the dishwasher. Also desperately need to gas up my car.

But here we go. We sally forth without regard for mental health, exhaustion, physical health, or general appearance.

I did, however, put makeup on for the first time in three days though. And I'm wearing pants. So that's like half-way to clothing. Not like the fants (fake pants: AKA leggings and/or yoga pants) that I've been wearing to the lawbrary.

After today I shall welcome vegetables back into my diet. I shall remember what it's like to sleep a normal amount of hours (read: more than 5), and I'll get started on my ungodly lengthy to-do list. And beach, there is a beach at the end of this. With two fantastical friends. And margaritas. And fish tacos. I just need to make it to Saturday.

Best of luck, my fellow law students in arms.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Study "week": Day 2

The morning began significantly earlier, but was, unfortunately, preceded by a night spent with the lights on (entirely by accident). I also somehow managed to magically explode some oatmeal in my breakfast consisted of roughly a half cup of oatmeal - not a real meal. I was, however, provided with a soy latte with an extra shot by my lovely carpool. AND I have salad for a person!

I've also moved away from music (for now), in favor of having Top Gear on in the background. It's weirdly effective.

Also, I apologize for this total crap entry. Finals studying drains all creativity from my brain. And it's dull. Woefully dull.

Thursday, March 14, 2013


For times when you get bored with your 90's music selection and/or classical music, party music (as I've previously said) is the way to go. That being said, this is one of my favorite party music bands. It's a good combination of repetitive, catchy, girl power-y (don't hate), and just really fun. (Note: Mom, you're not going to enjoy this band a whole lot)

For your listening pleasure!

Adulthood Failure Take 57

I actually made food last night. It was a feat among feats. It was also the epitome of all things artery clogging.

To clarify, it was taco pizza. How does one make such a pizza, you may ask. Here's how. Make some taco meat. I chose ground beef, sauteed with onions and taco seasoning. Then spread out your store-bought pizza dough, spread two kinds of salsa over the top - I chose roasted pepper salsa and chili/corn salsa - then place rounds of mozzarella in whatever pattern you desire, pile the taco meat on top, then smother in a mexican shredded cheese blend. Bake at the hottest temperature possible for like 15 minutes (try not to set off the smoke alarm; I didn't succeed at that part). After slicing the pizza, spread guacamole on top and finish with a squeeze of lime juice. Then enjoy your horribly unhealthy, artery clogging, early death inducing food!

Please note how this is not a meal that people should be proud of making . At least no adult should be proud of this. Nor should they be proud of eating it for bed...the following morning. And for lunch that same day.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I have failed spectacularly at eating like a real person....though I have eaten in the same fashion as a morbidly obese person would....that's not particularly comforting. Tonight might be the time to try for vegetables...and wine. That's healthy right? Red wine has antioxidants. Veggies have....good things. I am truly terrible at the whole adulthood game.

Post Yoga Study Strategy

Step 1. Remain sweaty, so that you feel as disgusting as you probably look.

Step 2. Have multiple uber-hydrating beverages (I went with chocolate coconut water and regular water).

Step 3. You need a change in music, so look for something either inspiring or catchy (so it'll keep you awake).

Step 4. Decide it's just about time for a glorious recap of late 80's-mid 90's music. Spend several minutes finding some.

Step 5. Start with "Steal My Sunshine" by Len, next is "Down Under" by Men at Work, and then you can go wherever you'd like.

Step 6. RESIST the urge to sing along and/or dance along. You WILL get dirty looks from every single other law student in your immediate vicinity (which, thankfully isn't too many at the moment).

Step 7. Have a mini flashback to that trip in high school during which you were forced to listen to a bunch of terrible music until you wrested control of the sound system back from the horrid counselor and put Queen on, like a logical person.

Step 8. Briefly mourn the fact that you've never been back to the land of Oz.

Step 9. Wish the showers at school (yes, there are showers INSIDE the law school) weren't quite so gross. Or that you'd brought non-sweat soaked clothing to change into.

Step 10. Realize how much time you've just wasted. Give yourself a mental slap to the face. Get back to work.

White Smoke!

We have a new pope! By which I mean, the Catholics (of whom I am not one) have a new pope! Per my exceedingly clever colleague, he shall be henceforth dubbed Papa Argentina! I have a little bit of hope for Papa Argentina - he's a Jesuit, and he's from one of the most liberal countries in South America. However, there are things that he's holding staunchly to the party line on. Namely, contraception (except in a select few cases), gay marriage, general homosexuality issues, and we're not sure just yet how he views and plans to deal with the whole child molestation thing that the Church has sadly become associated with. I mean, man, if I can say nothing else about the views of high ranking Catholic priests - they are damned consistent.

That's really all I've got. That and he's old as dirt. Can YOU imagine STARTING a career at the nubile age of 76? (Note: cryptkeeper is not a viable career choice in this specific scenario) The last dude they chose because he was old and they weren't sure the direction the Church should take split the church in two (which, mercifully, didn't last).

Being largely a-religious, or at least agnostic, this doesn't really affect me. So, it's a thing!

Ways To Know It's Finals

  1. You can literally concentrate on nothing
  2. You're pretty sure you're awake 98% because of caffeine
  3. Facebook has been temporarily deactivated
  4. 90% of your diet consists of what might be deemed "junk food" 
  5. Ladies: your hair is in a ponytail more often than not
  6. Dudes: it has magically become acceptable to wear sweats in public
  7. Using the printer at a capacity that could be deemed abuse if it were an animate object
  8. All of the tables around you have laptops, at least one book per person, at least one beverage per person and at least one person wearing reading glasses.
  9. Highlighters are used/discarded and generally tortured
  10. Workout clothes are no longer confined to the gym.
  11. Hiding from people has become an acceptable way to pass your weekend.
  12. Every time you make a real meal it feels as if you've accomplished some herculean task and deserve to be rewarded.
  13. Somehow it has become acceptable to take an elevator two floors
  14. You're sent into a panic at the mere mention of a case name you can't place
  15. Free coffee makes your day 1000% better
  16. When you run out of coffee at home, you get a demonic headache that penetrates the back of your eye sockets
  17. Advil is a means of survival
  18. Sedentary has become the only way of life you know
  19. Each and every undergraduate in YOUR library is met with a withering glare 
  20. The library's rule against eating and food has become a mere suggestion.
  21. You bear a modicum of ill begotten and ill deserved ire toward any human in your vicinity whom you have not willingly chosen to associate yourself with.
  22. EVERYTHING is distracting.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


Now, you've heard me rant about the 1Ls on here before, but to be fair, they have (on the whole) gotten better about their scream whispering and general utter disrespect for every single person that has to occupy the same airspace with them. That is, except for one. She is the instigator, and I'm becoming increasingly certain that she is the devil incarnate. Not even a good devil. I won't give her the privilege and honor of being compared to Kali or Faustus. She's the pond scum....or rather the tiny organisms that feed exclusively on pond scum....of devils.

Every day she sits amongst a table of exclusively male law students (also na├»ve 1Ls), looking nauseatingly self-satisfied. And then she proceeds to scream whisper for an extended period of time. In a law library one week before finals this is the opposite of acceptable. I'm of the mind that people that commit this egregious sin should be rounded up and shot.....or expelled. One of the two, I'm not particular about which. She is truly the worst of the bunch though. Just moments ago, after arriving at the law school at 7 goddamned 45 in the morning to do work for the paper I have due today and the second one I have due at 8:30 tomorrow morning, she and her friend squeal (I shit you not....they legitimately SQUEALED like tortured pigs) upon seeing each other for the first time in 24 hours and then launched into 10 freaking minutes of scream whispering. Not only could I hear all of this, but I could hear it through partially noise canceling headphones, with somewhat loud music on. Ask yourself, would you be embarrassed if that were you? Of course you would, because you're being an inconsiderate prick to literally an entire floor of a library. Not her.

Look, I get that some people in law school have no social awareness and/or mild Aspergers, but good god, were you raised in a BARN?!? There are some places where that kind of conduct is just generally unacceptable. This is one of those places. Also, if you are clueless enough to fail to notice the six tables of people shooting you death glares, you're not going to fare well in the real world. The worst part about the whole situation is that she just looked increasingly self-satisfied after the whole ordeal. I swear, if I bore no murderous impulses before this encounter, you can bet that I have them bubbling and seething under the surface now. There is rage welling up from the very core of my being like magma, and I pray to god that she's not around should that rage magma ever make it to the surface. Then again, it is deeply comforting to know that I'm on several boards and, if I ever chose to (which I wouldn't, because it would be an utter abuse of power) I could make her life in law school a living hell.

I take comfort in this:

Monday, March 11, 2013

Epic Studying

Studying, as we all are well aware by now, is the bane of the law student's life. There are, however, a few ways to make your hours spent buried under books, cranking out mediocre papers, and downing unhealthy quantities of caffeine feel more epic.

Chief among these methods is to listen to all of the John Williams directed music on the internets. All of it. Hear me? In addition to listening to all of the action inspired (and action-inspiring) music from Star Wars and all of the Indiana Jones movies, you also get E.T., Lincoln, War Horse, and a bunch of stuff that I had no idea the man had anything to do with. He is a legend. He is a machine. He's fantastic and will make even the crappiest paper churned out under the greatest amount of sleep deprivation humanly achievable feel like you're Beethoven writing the Moonlight Sonata.

Second is to paint your face like Braveheart and routinely run outside screaming that "They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom!!!" Granted, this is wholly secondary choice to the John Williams music. Mainly because it will solidify your status as the campus crazy person. Unless you're at some liberal, hippie school....which would not be most law schools.

Lastly, you can always try taking exercise breaks in the lawbrary. Either dancing to some form of insanely catchy music or doing yoga in the middle of the walkway. Just don't make noise. Silent dance party!!!

My method is method no. 1, combined with some epic nail polish (currently teal with a glitter's weird and I love it.). Law school is a little like being in private school where they wear uniforms. You use your accessories and makeup/hair (or lack thereof) to distinguish you and remind you that you're not just another brick in the wall, to quote Pink Floyd.

Back to papers and John Williams. Ciao, mi amici!

Damn You, Daylight Savings!

As I'm sure you all know (and are equally unhappy about), this past weekend was daylight savings time. For those of you who don't know how this works, basically once a year we turn our clocks forward an hour (i.e. 7 AM becomes 8 AM), and then, approximately 7 months later, we reverse it (the 8 AM we've gotten used to is then 7 AM). It's a tradition that harkens back to the days of yore, when the hour of waking was dictated by the hour the sun arose and work upon the fields could commence. Now, let's just forget for a second that most of modern society does not begin at the buttcrack of dawn, a significant portion of modern society does not consist of farmers. Also, there's this awesome invention called electricity. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it allows work to continue after the sun goes down. This is particularly useful for when the sun goes down at 4 PM during the winter. (Those of you in or close to the equator won't be able to relate to that particular phenomenon)

So, there we have it: an antiquated system that we still employ, somewhat nonsensically. To make matters worse, there are several states that have arbitrarily chosen not to follow this particular tradition. While I agree with their logic, it makes figuring out time zones far more complicated unnecessarily. I would blame the farmers for this mess, but I empathize with their plight and believe that part of the problem with the modern food economy is that there is a severe lack of small farmers - partially fed by outdated food subsidies and partially fed by the industrial agriculture phenomenon of the last 100 years - but that rant is for another time and another place.

My point is: daylight savings time is stupid, it makes me sleepy, and it makes me wake up to the joyous noise of my own voice proclaiming that "I hate everything." It's even worse when said asinine change in time arises precisely a week and a half before finals. Oh, and during the week where you have all the things due. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM. (That is an intentional misspelling - I'm well aware that there is a silent "b" on the end of that.) Compound all this with the fact that I've repeatedly forgotten to purchase coffee for the last two weeks, and you have a situation where I'm more sleep deprived than normal and LACKING SUFFICIENT CAFFEINE. It's no bueno. On the upside, I had just enough coffee to make one last pot this morning. And discovered that I can park at school for $3 if I force two other students into my car. Winning? Sort of. It's a wash right now.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Why the Last Weekend of March.... the greatest weekend so far this year. Two tv shows are premiering. I'm obsessed with both. It's a problem, but a happy problem.

No. 1: Doctor Who

And No. 2: Game of Thrones

I hope you're all as excited as I am.

The Joys of Party Music

Let's face it, working on things for law school is sad. More often than not, at least for me, every fiber of my being fights doing actual work until I'm under an extreme time crunch and then I go into psycho meltdown mode. I've been trying to fix that. It's a hard habit to break though. The things that I've found that help are (a) not wearing my contacts, so I literally cannot see things that are more than a foot away, (b) wearing my reading glasses, (c) listening to classical music (I highly recommend the London Symphony Orchestra), and (d) listening to party music.

Party music is that perfect combination of brainless, repetitive, catchy, and driving beat. That way it makes you stay awake, continue working, but it doesn't have enough substance to actually distract you. I know that some of my compatriots would disagree, but I'm utterly incapable of working for long periods without some amount of noise distracting the ADD part of my brain. Silence is not always best, though I can work in silence.

These lovely songs, such as the one above, by the lovely and talented Santigold, distract my brain just enough to allow the creative juices/expanded mental capacity to function more effectively. I think of it as white noise that both makes me want to dance (physical activity!) and makes the words flow from my fingertips more quickly (productivity?). It's a good thing. Things that also help are (1) a number of various beverages, (2) company that is being far more productive than you are, and (3) snacks. Snacks are of the utmost importance.

Also, this is stuck in my head, so you get to enjoy it in all its glory as well.


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

That Time of Year

No, not a holiday of any time. The time of year when you realize that finals are a mere two weeks away, you feel woefully unprepared (hah! I don't think anyone has ever gone into a law school final feeling 100% prepared.), and you have ALL the things to do at the same time. The way you can typically tell that it is fast approaching is mainly that the 1Ls stop scream-whispering so frequently in the lawbrary. They suddenly become as intently focused as a cheetah stalking its prey. The packs they so frequently wander and sit in begin to dissipate, until they eventually vanish altogether. But never fear, that happens only once the study period has begun. Jerks. Don't they understand that the rest of us have papers due before then? Or that we have actually difficult finals to study for? No, no they do not. They're still (mistakenly) under the impression that their Civil Procedure finals are going to be "the worst thing ever." Such is not the case. Any class that is 98% about how well you can read the text of a rule and apply it will not have an absurdly difficult final exam. Besides, if you haven't guessed by now, law school is mostly about how well you can write reasonable statements applying case law to a fictional set of facts. Sounds fun, right? NOPE.

Oh well, le sigh. According to sources, the 1Ls have already begun panicking and studying ferociously. I'm amenable to that, considering the two papers I have due in the next two weeks (both final papers), plus a meeting about my journal comment (which I need to do more work on), and two outlines I need to create. Oh, and a case that will be going to trial post-spring break. And judicial clerkship applications are due soonish. As are applications for a during-the-year job for next year. Because my to-do list is so short, I've added on researching bar prep courses, calling my future supervisor, beginning Rule 9 paperwork, looking into the MPRE (and potentially signing up for it), and hosting a mini St. Patrick's day potluck (because it's right before finals start...and otherwise I will honestly forget to eat).

The only truly awful part about all of this is that I very recently realized that I do not possess coffee at home. And am still working my body back to a normal sleep schedule, post weekend-in-canada. Gross. Such is law school. Anyway, this is short because it's time for me to go abuse some highlighters (of which I need to get more) by creating rainbow colored highlighting in my Natural Resources book. For those of you who think that is a stupid system for studying: (1) Don't judge me, it works for me, and (2) it's extremely helpful for people who will inherit my books eventually. Seriously. Just ask the girl who has my evidence book. Every time she gets to a page that I didn't quite get to, she says her brain asks why I have forsaken her. HAH!

Also, thanks to Illegalities for this:

Monday, March 4, 2013

Law School Truths

No matter how many times someone will tell you that it's your arguments and how well they're constructed that matters, it's not always strictly true. At some point the playing field gets leveled in terms of how intelligent and well-written the arguments are. On the other hand, when you're standing in front of judges, being human and forced to say things people immediately break down into a few categories. There are those who are comfortable, maybe even bordering slightly on cocky, and speak with the fluidity, grace, and eloquence of a young Barack Obama. Others get an extreme sheen of flop sweat, speak increasingly quickly, breathe less and less, and turn the color of an overripe tomato. They are what you would call less-comfortable....or future transactional attorneys. Then there's the majority of people...who fall in between. They might get sweaty and word vomit a little, but they get through it, they make points. The persuasiveness is either there (because sometimes it is), or it isn't. That's the way reality rolls.

The Great White North

In the spirit of the fight against mental exhaustion and burn out that is all of law school, a few friends and I spent the weekend in the realm of America's northern neighbor. It was a weekend replete with 90s music, too much makeup, some sea otters and brunch. Brunch is truly the best meal of all the meals.  All of the best of breakfast with all of the best of lunch, in ONE meal. Truly brilliant. Creator of brunch, I salute you and honor your memory by eating chocolate cake for lunch.

Like adults do, we spent a significant portion of our vacation post-brunch at the aquarium. Because penguins. And sharks. I am now the proud owner of plush based Sea Otter slippers. Eat your heart out 5 year olds! I also own a sippy cup with a curly straw and a whale. We then went out and partied (responsibly) like it was 1999. And I truly mean like it was in glittery eyeshadow and cat eye liner. We made new friends, as outgoing groups of people do. I encountered a gentleman (a term I'm employing extremely loosely here, as he was 4 years my junior and a bit like a lost puppy) who could not and cannot take a hint. Though I did nothing to encourage his advances, he made a few of them. I now need to be real abrupt with Canadian men...lesson learned. CANADA!!! Why is everything just a little bit different?!?!

We also had delicious Udon soup, some fantastic pork belly, and all the snacks from ever. OH, and poutine. And fries. And just so much food.

Also, Canada's parking meters stole my quarters. But I found a combo of coconut water and coffee. For when you're both dehydrated and tired. It will keep you awake and make you need to run to the restroom.

Now to do all the things and then watch my friends kick butt in the mock appellate advocacy competition, because law school is NERDY. Deal with it.

Special shout-out to my glorious, tall, co-founder of Team Creep - Happy Birthday! See, the sun even came out specially for your birthday! The universe wants it to rock.

Aaaaaaand back to the bazillion things I have to do.