I actually made food last night. It was a feat among feats. It was also the epitome of all things artery clogging.
To clarify, it was taco pizza. How does one make such a pizza, you may ask. Here's how. Make some taco meat. I chose ground beef, sauteed with onions and taco seasoning. Then spread out your store-bought pizza dough, spread two kinds of salsa over the top - I chose roasted pepper salsa and chili/corn salsa - then place rounds of mozzarella in whatever pattern you desire, pile the taco meat on top, then smother in a mexican shredded cheese blend. Bake at the hottest temperature possible for like 15 minutes (try not to set off the smoke alarm; I didn't succeed at that part). After slicing the pizza, spread guacamole on top and finish with a squeeze of lime juice. Then enjoy your horribly unhealthy, artery clogging, early death inducing food!
Please note how this is not a meal that people should be proud of making . At least no adult should be proud of this. Nor should they be proud of eating it for breakfast...in bed...the following morning. And for lunch that same day.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I have failed spectacularly at eating like a real person....though I have eaten in the same fashion as a morbidly obese person would....that's not particularly comforting. Tonight might be the time to try for vegetables...and wine. That's healthy right? Red wine has antioxidants. Veggies have....good things. I am truly terrible at the whole adulthood game.
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